I'm twenty-two years old, but I look about seventeen. When I'm outside just hanging out, people say things like, "Shouldn't you be in school right now?" When I'm at any bar they ask, "Are you old enough to have a drink?" I never understanded why, I look normal I guess, I'm tall and don't wear makeup, so I look young. I have visible tattoos ears pierced almost everywere, and a very weird hair cut which have been known to change colour. It seems like my appearance is constantly being commented upon. I've been criticized for participating in a culture that is "just for men", I've been fetishised by people who think that I have "that Suicide Girls look", I've been asked to explain the personal meanings behind the images on my body, I've been told that I will regret my decisions, that no one will ever marry someone who looks like me, that I will look ridiculous when I am old and wrinkled and was even once told by a middle-aged woman that the "feminist" tattoo I have would likely earn me a punch in the face one day.
Clichés I've been earing from others about my friends:
"You're so hot, you could be a Suicide Girl."
Contrary to popular belief, this is not a compliment. I resent the fact that "looks" are something that's more often associated with porn rather than punk, or any other subculture. The list of reasons for us tattooed women to reject Suicide Girls is long, among it are the low payments that the models on the website actually receive (considering the amount that the owner is raking in on subscriptions, dvd and t-shirt sales, etc), the fact that many models have quit the site over allegations of exploitation and abuse, the website's owner openly describing the models as sluts and whores, and the fact that they have commodified a subculture and sold it back to us, all the while claiming to be feminists and describing their brand of porn as "alternative", when in fact it is the same old thin, white, traditionally pretty girls who just happen to have tattoos and piercings.
I think that feminist blogger Nine Deuce at Rage Against The Man-chine said it best when she said, "That’s exactly what the Suicide Girls phenomenon is all about: superficial and cliché rebelliousness masking a tired rehashing of the pornographic exploitation of women. The idea that the women involved are empowering themselves is revolting; the company is owned and operated by a man, the women are paid nearly zilch for the honor of degrading themselves for an audience of perverts who listen to Reverend Horton Heat, and the company locks its “models” into contracts that forbid them to “model” for any other sites and rob them of any rights to their own images. Where’s the empowerment? ...I do know that dressing up everyday sexual exploitation and patriarchal gender roles in flaming cherry tattoos isn’t punk. It’s fucking nonsense. What Suicide Girls are doing is meeting a market demand created by dudes who want porn that matches their “alternative” hairdos and love for the Misfits, not representing an alternative kind of sexuality in which women are seen as sexually autonomous human beings, which is where the real sexual revolution is at."
As well, Rae Alexandra at NME.com puts much of the blame for the lack of women in music right now on Suicide Girls, saying, "Riot grrrl encouraged us to talk openly about the female sexual experience and in 2003 a website decided to take all that work we’d been doing on honest sexual expression, exploit it and turn it on its head. There are multiple reasons women have recently lost their voice in rock but Suicide Girls - and the copycat sites that have sprung up since - has arguably been the most damaging thing to happen to women involved in alternative music ever. These sites have given young women the impression that the best way to be an asset to the subculture is simply to get some tattoos and piercings and get their kit off. It has fetishised punk rock girls to a degree probably never seen before, and taken all those bold, young potential musicians, writers and photographers and reduced them to a voiceless sea of breasts and body art. Under the guise of personal self-expression, these sites have actually taken alternative women’s voices away. In much the same way that riot grrrl and grunge were a hair-metal backlash, what we desperately need now is a Suicide Girls backlash. Without one, young women will be forever reduced to the naked accessories in an all boys' club. Revolution Girl Style Again! Please?"
I've realized that at twenty-two years old, things still happen the same way they did in high school (or the way I imagine they happened in high school anyway...). I find that I still get the evil eye from girls. I've had a lot of my friends tell me that they were intimidated by me when we first met; that they thought they weren't "cool enough" for me. And honestly, I am really fucking shy and self-conscious. So I think that people mistake my silence for arrogance and anti-wtv- and it makes me wonder how many times I've made the same mistake myself. So what I wanna do is make a simple zine that outlines jealousy and girl-hate and talks about what we can do to fight it.
I want this to be the kinda zine that I can hand to girls on the subway and at parties, wherever and whenever I want. I'm currently collecting quotes on the topic of riot grrrl (and the supposed revival) and on fighting jealousy and girl-hate. So if you've got something to say, leave it in the comments and it may wind up in the zine. Here are a few to get you thinking:
"I'm all for it (the revival of riot grrrl), but this time around we should really show 'em and actually learn how to play music. With the amount of musical ineptness that resides in most bands (at least the relatively popular ones) now, a brilliant, technically-able, thought-provoking, ass-kicking set of female musicians would be a revelation. As a musician that has worked hard at my craft for many years, I'm always vaguely insulted that I'm lumped in with bands like Bikini Kill and Hole, whom I appreciate for so many things, but not so much for their musical prowess." -Jennifer Hall, musician, Tripping Hazard
"Riot grrrl may have saved my life. Although the original riot grrrl movement began twenty years ago and has been declared dead time and time again, it is still necessary and relevant in many of our lives, and offers a meaningful way for girls to connect with one another and have confidence in ourselves and our creative projects. Obviously there were many issues within the community and not everyone is as excited about the so-called “revival of riot grrrl” as I and many of my friends are, but that’s no reason not to learn from the past, get inspired, and kickstart our own revolution today."
-Maranda Elizabeth, zinester, Telegram Ma'am, Little Acorns, Edith
It should be noted that the zine won't necessarily be all "rah rah rah! riot grrrl rules!" If you're against the revival, feel free to share that opinion. I'm not going to ignore the failures of the movement. While I'm of the belief that we can talk about these things and try to improve upon them, I know that some people would prefer if the movement were officially declared dead and sure don't care about the new generation of so-called riot grrrls.
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